Hansel & Gretel told by the witch

You’ve certainly heard thousands of times the story of the witch who attracts two children into a gingerbread house and tries to eat them.
I am that witch and the story didn’t go like that at all.
For those of you who have always had doubts about what really happened that day, now is time to know the true story of Hansel and Gretel.
So, I am a witch. Everyone is what she is. I was born with my remarkable magical powers and have always use them to solve my problems and grant my wishes. Would anyone do differently?
Among my wishes, there have always been sweets. I must confess I’m incredibly greedy; madly in love with heady scent coming from those delicacies. Hot cakes, freshly baked meringues, chocolate sweets and delights of all kind. Looking at them, smelling them, cooking and eating them are the things I love most. When I found out that I could turn the bricks of my house into sweets, I was the happiest witch in the world.
The night that this story began, I was cooking some cakes, inspired by the delicious scent of my house. That evening, two little monsters had the idea of going into the forest while the dark was falling and, for the height of bad luck, met the raven Barbolo.
Barbolo once was a spiteful dwarf and nothing amused him more than kidding me. When, the nth time, I was putting on my stockings I found them full of scorpions, I lost my temper and turned him into a crow. Unfortunately, even as a bird he stood around and, that damn night, convinced the two small children to come to me.
I hate kids, noisy, extravagant and always hungry for sweets: my sweets. I went to live in the middle of the forest so that no child would ever disturbed me, so you can imagine my great surprise in seeing them coming.
At once I read in their eyes their desire to tear apart my beloved house to pieces; so, in order to distract them I invited them to come in and try some freshly baked cakes.
Those piglets ate everything. When they were as full as balloons, it was getting late and, even though I don’t love kids, I just couldn’t let them go back into the forest in the dark with wolves in the surroundings.
But I told them that I wanted them to stay with me till the next day, the two rascals began to scream, to cry and to run up and down the house. In the meantime that silly Barbolo flew through the opened window and started to shout out foolish things saying I would eat them and they could no longer leave, making them more and more upset.
But who would ever take these silly things seriously? With my magical powers what would I ever do of two weeping kids? And then, why should I have to eat children if I’m living in a house made of sugar?
The situation was degenerating and the kids were overwhelming. Having lost my patience I put them into a large cage which I sometimes used for sheep or other animals. I knew this wasn’t the best accommodation for them to sleep in, but I couldn’t stand it no more and I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t let them go into the forest at night and anyway inside there, at least, they had calmed down.
To make them forgive me for the uncomfortable night, the following morning I got up early and cooked them plenty of delicious cakes. Then I woke them up and the girl offered to help me with the houseworking. I thought she wanted to be nice and thank me; I’d never have thought that both her and her brother were about to ambush me. That damned dwarf took part in the plot too. He couldn’t wait to lay a joke on me again and died of laughter when I fell upside down into the pot where I had mixed the ingredients for my cake.
At my age you could even die for a thing like that!
I took me ages to get out of there; I was dirty and furious and the worst thing was that there was no one around who I could yell out my anger. The two beasts had run away and the evil crow had disappeared with them too.
After cleaning myself I calmed down; I couldn’t imagine all the troubles that were yet to come.
The two little rouges told horrible and false stories about meat their return home. The adults believed them and began to make my life so impossible that I had to move away.
After a while a ridiculous story came out saying that I attracted children to eat them, so since then I had problems in every forest where I lived.
If only I had been witch enough to chase away those little worms from my sweets, another story would be told now and we had one lie to do without.